Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
  • Weather Conditions
    Average Temp 69 degrees
    Average Temp 49 degrees
  • Fan Base
    Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
    Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
  • Support Team
    Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
    Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
  • Nickname
    Home of the 12th Man
    The Mistake On The Lake
  • Extracurricular Activities
    George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
    Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
  • Stadium Name
    Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
    First Energy Stadium
This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.