TALE OF THE TAPE

The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

Giants Losing
Little Mac Losing
Philadelphia Eagles vs  New York Giants
Next Generation Video Games Unveiled
Opponent's Hometown
Giants: Charlotte, North Carolina. Oooo! It’s supposed to be lovely there!
Winner Little Mac: France. FRANCE. FRAAAAAAAA-
Opponent’s Record Before Match:
0-2
Winner 1-99
Predictable Offense?
Winner I don’t know if it’s predictable, but cripes is it boring.
He’s got about 5 punches to dodge, so yes.
Motivational Halftime Speech?
(unprintable)
Winner “Join the Nintendo Fun Club Today, Mac!”
Secret weapon?
Winner Throwing to Victor “Look at my stupid dance, I’m a jerk!” Cruz.
Pressing “Start” when he has a star punch.
Post Loss Quote?
Winner “Disappointing is not a strong enough word.”
Give up? Retire? Start training, make a comeback!
Future Implications?
Winner Maybe we can finally stop having the stupid “Which Manning is Better?” debate.
He’s doomed against Von Kaiser - nevermind Bald Bull or the second fight against Don Flamenco.

The Winner Is

Philadelphia Eagles vs  New York Giants
Winner Giants Losing
4 out of 7

Gloriously losing once again, the boring, listless Giants drop one to Little Mac and Glass Joe, 4-3. Having watched my beloved Patriots drop two awful Super Bowls to them, I gotta say: this defeat is pretty good.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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