Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

College Station
(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
Miami Dolphins v Cleveland Browns
(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
Weather Conditions
Winner Average Temp 69 degrees
Average Temp 49 degrees
Fan Base
Winner Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Support Team
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
Winner Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
Winner Home of the 12th Man
The Mistake On The Lake
Extracurricular Activities
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
Winner Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Stadium Name
Winner Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
First Energy Stadium

The Winner Is

(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
Winner College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.


  1. PHILADELPHIA, PA - OCTOBER 23: Sam Bradford #8 of the Minnesota Vikings throws a pass in the first quarter against Brandon Graham #55 of the Philadelphia Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on October 23, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Eagles defeated the Vikings 21-10. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images) GREENBAY, WI - OCTOBER 20: Running back Jordan Howard #24 of the Chicago Bears is tackled by nose tackle Kenny Clark #97 and cornerback Demetri Goodson #39 of the Green Bay Packers in the second quarter at Lambeau Field on October 20, 2016 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)
    Week 8 Tale Of The Tape: Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears

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  2. PHILADELPHIA, PA - OCTOBER 23: Quarterback Carson Wentz #11 of the Philadelphia Eagles avoids Everson Griffen #97 of the Minnesota Vikings as he runs for a first down during the second quarter of a game at Lincoln Financial Field on October 23, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images) GREEN BAY, WI - OCTOBER 16: Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys looks to pass against the Green Bay Packers during the third quarter at Lambeau Field on October 16, 2016 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Dallas Cowboys defeated the Green Bay Packers 30-16.  (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)
    Week 8 Tale Of The Tape: Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys

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  3. GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 23:  Running back David Johnson #31 of the Arizona Cardinals rushes the football during the NFL game against the Seattle Seahawks at the University of Phoenix Stadium on October 23, 2016 in Glendale, Arizona. The Cardinals and Seahawks tied 6-6.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images) NEW ORLEANS, LA - OCTOBER 16: Cam Newton #1 of the Carolina Panthers scrambles out of the pocked during the first half of a game against the New Orleans Saints at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome on October 16, 2016 in New Orleans, Louisiana.  (Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images)
    Week 8 Tale Of The Tape: Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers

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