I was asked last week if I knew of any athlete who was also a good actor.
Sure, soccer players act like they are hurt all the time.
But other than that, The Rock, the former WWE star, has turned into a pretty darn good action movie star. He’s had some flops, but you can’t deny his box office success. Other than that, Arnold Schwarzenegger, before he became a mega-star and governor of California, was a professional body builder. Was he a good actor? Well, let’s just say if you are a bad actor, you are not going to have the run of hits that Schwarzenegger has had in his career.
However, there have plenty of bad actors. Probably too numerous to list here. So…the envelope please! Here are the “Top 5 Worst Performances by an Athlete in a Major Motion Picture.
5.) Alex Karras: Mad Bull
The late All Pro defensive lineman became an entertaining analyst on Monday Night Football (Remember Otis Sistrunk for the “University of Mars?”). He had some good roles in his career; the best was Mongo in “Blazing Saddles”). But he had some duds, like this 1977 made for TV film about a professional wrestler who was a good guy playing a bad guy. I actually kind of liked the movie and thought Karras took some better bumps that many of the wrestlers that are in the WWE today. Overall his performance was a dud.
4.) Shaquille O’Neal: Steel
I love super hero movies. Even the bad ones. But this one, not so much. Shaq plays a weapons designer who ends up designing his own suit of armor from a junkyard in this 1997 clunker. You know, Shaq had some not-so-bad-roles when he used his likable personality to his benefit. This was not one of them.
3.) Dan Marino: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
This has to be one of my favorite comedies. There was so much to like in this 1994 wacky movie set in Miami: a young Courtney Cox, Tone Loc, a smoking hot Sean Young in her underwear and some lines that became part of our lexicon: “Alrighty then!” “Do NOT go in there!” “Laces Out!” However, the line: “Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?” delivered by Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino was not one of them.
2.) Howie Long: Firestorm
As an analyst on the Fox Sports NFL Pregame show, Hall of Famer Howie Long is as good as any in the business. He has made a great name for himself in sports. In his short list of movies, he is best known for his death scene in the 1996 movie, Broken Arrow. However, his role in the 1998 bomb Firestorm is one best forgotten.
1.) Brian Bosworth: Stone Cold
This 1991 flop starred the Boz as a cop from Alabama going undercover in Mississippi (sounds like something Nick Saban would ask him to do). The beating Bosworth took from movie critics for this stinker was almost as bad as the beating given to him by Bo Jackson in 1987. And I’m sure this is not what the WWE had in mind when they came up with a name for Steve Austin.
BONUS! Just to show you that I am an “equal opportunity offender,” I present to you the “Worst Performance by an Announcer Playing Himself in a Major Motion Picture.”
92-9 The Game’s Tony Schiavone: Ready to Rumble
I am a part of a family of movie buffs. We watch everything, good and bad; and we’ve seen it all. So, from the Schiavone family to all athletes out there, leave the acting to the actors.
And to all the actors out there, leave the politics to the politicians.