Game of Thrones benefits from communal viewing. Get together with people who are varying degrees of obsessed with the show and/or the books on Sunday nights and share some gasps, laughs and general unease. After the credits rolled on this week’s ‘Breaker of Chains,’ I broke the silence by proclaiming it to be one of the best episodes the series has granted us. That said, the recap to follow is just as much a selfish way of wrapping my own head around the events of the show as it is informative for you, dear reader. Let’s raise a chalice, cross our fingers and hope for the best!

Cersei is out for blood, and this time, it is Lannister blood. Her brother Tyrion is persona non grata and is, in the mind of the Queen Regent, the prime suspect for the late King Joffrey’s death. Also, while clutching her deceased child, she starts to think through who else could bear some of the burden. Sansa, eldest daughter of Ned and Cat Stark and wife to the shortest Lion in the Red Keep, is high on her list. Also Shae, the prostitute-turned-handmaiden with whom Tyrion is in love isn’t far from Cersei’s thoughts.

Sansa has disappeared. Smuggled out of the capital by the same King’s Fool who’s life she spared on Joffrey’s name day while the two were still betrothed. Turns out the always shady trader of secrets Peter “Littlefinger” Baelish is behind the plot to rescue Lady Stark. He claims to be taking Sansa home, which begs the question: Where is home for a Stark? Winterfell has been sacked, and both her parents are dead by Lannister hands along with her eldest brother. Middle brother Bran is headed to the Wall, baby bro Rickon is hiding out with Hodor and her little sister Arya is on the road with the Hound. No place in the Seven Kingdoms is truly safe for Tyrion’s bride, but it would be safe to guess that Littlefinger plans to take her to the Eyrie, the stronghold of House Arryn, to be placed under the protection of her aunt Lysa.

Back in the capital, there is a conflict of responsibility brewing in the Lion’s household. Cersei is consumed by grief and revenge. Tywin, Hand of the King, is concerned with preparing the new King for his duty. Ah yes, Joff is a goner and Tommen has grown up quite a bit! While the late King’s body is still warm, his grandfather wastes no time in defacing his reign as poor. He tells the king-to-be that what makes a good king is “wisdom,” and then suggests that his older brother had none. He concludes this lesson by easing into a “birds & the bees” discussion. Excellent timing.

Oh, then Jaime Lannister has sex with his sister against her will right next to their dead incest-born son. This is an HBO show after all, so shame on us for being offended, but this is clearly writer George R.R. Martin at his most depraved.

Every year, the Webster Dictionary makes a big deal about words that get added due to common vernacular forcing them into legitimacy. Last year brought us “Twerk” and “Selfie.” I’m going to start Tweeting @MerriamWebster that “Lannistering” be defined as anything “Of of pertaining to incestual relations.” LOL, rite?

Without sounding like a broken record, elsewhere in the episode can be wrapped up fairly quick: Arya and the Hound are still on the road. The Hound beats people up. Daenerys is still recruiting an army of freed slaves.

We can expect a few key plot developments in the coming episodes. Tyrion will be put on trial for the murder of his nephew with the three judges being Tywin, Mace Tyrell and good ol Oberyn “Down For Anything!” Martell. If a court room drama was the one thing missing from Game of Thrones for you, get stoked! Through this we’ll likely see the plot to murder King Joffrey unfold.

The events of the Purple Wedding leave dear Margaery in quite a predicament. She just can’t stop having husbands die! Renly murdered by a ghost with Stannis’ face, Joffrey poisoned by an unknown assailant. Enter in young Tommen to save the day. Maybe things will work out a little better for him? Good luck, kiddo.


Kurt would love to share a flagon of ale or a few cups of Dornish wine with you. Let’s be friends –> @theactualkurt



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