I’m asking this question and writing this blog because of a conversation I was having with my co-worker, Big Tigger.
Both Big Tigger and I are single.
We often talk about relationships and the difficulties of finding a mate that meets some – if not most -of the traits we are both looking for.
We agree a person needs to be physically attracted to their mate, enjoy similar things like hobbies and leisure activities.
They should be traditionally employed, an entrepreneur, or independently wealthy. (Sitting at home trying to figure it out, for extended periods of time, is not an option).
They should make you laugh, smile and want to be a better person. They have to believe in God.
Now should they have perfect abs, 5% body fat, perfect fake breasts, a plump ass and well-toned legs, as well?
Should they be a college graduate? A good writer? A person that stays up on current events and has been to the opera?
Is it OK if their source for news “Entertainment Tonight,” they know what LOL, WTF and YOLO mean but have no idea what GOP, DNC, and SEC stand for?
Or in a sentence, would we settle for a mannequin?
And are too many women fashioning themselves into exactly that?
So, what does all of this have to do with mannequins?
, a mannequin is defined as a dummy used to display clothes in a store window.
Preferring to focus solely on being physically attractive at the expense of being mentally stimulating.
ALL DRESSED UP ON THE OUTSIDE AND A DUMMY ON THE INSIDE.
Some women do this because they are searching for a man to admire them, take them off the display window, provide for them and possibly change their life forever.
And it works, sometimes, for the man that only needs you to look good, be on his arm and say very little. (After all, a lot of these women have very little to say).
But is that really attractive to a man? I don’t think so.
Sure, men like beautiful bodies – whether they are real or manufactured. There is no doubt that the more physically attractive you are, the more you will attract men, receive attention, get your gas pumped by multiple volunteers and find yourself with more free drinks than you could possibly take in.
But some women are taking this to the extreme, and are so focused on looking good and improving their exterior they are ignoring the necessity to feed and nourish their brain and inner beauty.
Sometimes, I understand it. We are bombarded with messages of beauty, fame and how they go hand in hand. The pressure women have to meet an artificial standard of beauty is overwhelming in all forms of media, in the classroom, at home and in church.
However, if that’s all that you are, it will be hard to hold on to one of those good men.
At some point, when the fascination with your perfect body lessens, most men will want to cuddle with their woman and talk about presidential elections, possibly starting a business, ways to invest money, healthy eating, raising kids and overseas vacations.
But if you don’t know that Carnival Cruise lines has been having a bit of a hard time lately and you suggest a Carnival Cruise because “you’ve heard great things” it will be evident that you have not read a newspaper or listened to a newscast for quite some time. And if he hasn’t either, then you two make a perfect match. Enjoy your cruise.
As for me, at the end of the day, I want to have a great body and I want to look my best. BUT, I also want to intellectually stimulate my man and I want us to have stimulating conversations that challenge us both to sharpen our minds, expand our intellect and strengthen our relationship in and out of the bedroom.
So men, are you looking for mannequins?
And ladies, have you found yourself striking that pose?
- Mo Ivory, CBS Local